Dear Obama:
We Indians are completely upset with what you did to Devyani
Khobragade.
How can you insult Indians like this?
We Indians are the oldest civilization – while we were
chanting sophisticated Vedas in the world’s most computer-friendly language
called Sanskrit sitting under banyan trees, your people were nomads and
cave-dwellers.
May be you don’t realize this but Indians do not subscribe to
the alien philosophy of ‘rule of law’, which is nothing but a western and
artificial construct imposed onto us coercively by your British brothers.
We Indians follow an ancient concept called, ‘rule of the
selected few’. And those selected few could be the privileged, the majority,
and sometimes just freaking beautiful.
Why else do you think Deepika Padukone and Katrina Kaif are
top actresses in India though they cannot act shit? Why else do you think Rekha
is a Member of Parliament though she is thoroughly bored and disinterested?
Can’t you see? Are you blind?
Devyani Khobragade is cute. You cannot deny this.
Please release her immediately. And Apologize - in the
accepted Indian obsequious ways – fold your hands, prostrate on the ground, and
roll over.
Otherwise we will wage war on US. BTW, our new Aircraft
Carrier is being built – it should be ready by 2170.
Thank you.
The Great Indian.
