Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Letter to Obama on Devyani Khobragade

Dear Obama:
We Indians are completely upset with what you did to Devyani Khobragade.
How can you insult Indians like this?
We Indians are the oldest civilization – while we were chanting sophisticated Vedas in the world’s most computer-friendly language called Sanskrit sitting under banyan trees, your people were nomads and cave-dwellers.
May be you don’t realize this but Indians do not subscribe to the alien philosophy of ‘rule of law’, which is nothing but a western and artificial construct imposed onto us coercively by your British brothers.
We Indians follow an ancient concept called, ‘rule of the selected few’. And those selected few could be the privileged, the majority, and sometimes just freaking beautiful.
Why else do you think Deepika Padukone and Katrina Kaif are top actresses in India though they cannot act shit? Why else do you think Rekha is a Member of Parliament though she is thoroughly bored and disinterested?

Can’t you see? Are you blind?
Devyani Khobragade is cute. You cannot deny this.
Please release her immediately. And Apologize - in the accepted Indian obsequious ways – fold your hands, prostrate on the ground, and roll over.
Otherwise we will wage war on US. BTW, our new Aircraft Carrier is being built – it should be ready by 2170.

Thank you.
The Great Indian.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Hyderabad as Common Capital: Under what proviso?

[Coauthored with B. Vinod Kumar. Published in Deccan Chronicle on 29th November 2013, and Andhra Jyothi on 22nd November 2013.]

On 30th July 2013, CWC made the much-awaited and historic announcement to create Telangana with ten districts that includes Hyderabad district.   But then there was also another announcement that the city of Hyderabad will be the common-capital for the two successor states of Telangana and Seemandhra for a period of ten years.  It looks like New Delhi has not thought through the implication of this statement.  It is easier said than done.  

It is not the prerogative of the Parliament to decide the capital city for a state.  It is for each State to decide its capital city within its territory.  According to Telangana people, Hyderabad can at the best serve as ‘transit’ capital for Seemandhra for a brief period during which Seemandhras start moving out to their new capital city.   However, the Union Government coming under the pressure from Samaikyandhra agitations and Seemandhra leaders is considering various options to dilute the powers of Telangana to accommodate sharing of Hyderabad on a long term basis to assuage the imaginary fears of Seemandhra people.