Wednesday, September 04, 2013

What happens if Telangana is created with Hyderabad as it capital?

These are the ‘genuine’ fears expressed by Seemandhra people and their leaders in Samaikyandhra agitations. 

All Seemandhras would lose their jobs instantly

All Seemandhras whether they are living in Telangana or in Seemandhra will instantly lose their jobs with creation of Telangana.  One needs to understand why.  Most Seemandhras are currently employed only in Telangana and that too only in government sector, taking up jobs meant for Telanganas.  They will lose these jobs immediately.   In addition, Seemandhras will lose their jobs within Seemandhra for unknown reasons, but known explicably to Samaikyandhra activists. Seemandhra teachers will lose their jobs, because all Seemandhra students will stop going to school due to the heart-break caused by the murder of their beloved Telugu Talli.  Bankers in Seemandhra will lose their jobs because banks would become empty after spending the money on Samaikyandhra agitations.  All lawyers in Seemandhra will have no cases to fight because currently most of them are engaged in fighting against Telangana activists.  

Not only this.  Seemandhras will also lose all private jobs.  Graduating engineers will not be able to travel outside Seemandhra to find jobs anywhere in India, because once Telangana is formed Seemandhras automatically get disqualified from taking up any private jobs in India.  How is that possible?  Don’t ask.  In a first of its kind, Facebook and Google based in Hyderabad will put up a board outside: “No Seemandhras will be hired, but all other Indians are welcome to apply”. Doctors in Seemandhra will have no patients to treat because all the current patients come only from Telangana.  Hospitals in Seemandhra will immediately close down.  Seemandhras will have no means for their livelihood.  

Seemandhra would instantly dry up to become a desert

The rivers will stop flowing into Coastal Andhra.  No water will go down into the Bay of Bengal because Telanganas will create the world’s largest reservoirs to store up all the water.  All Seemandhra fields will dry up instantly and their cattle will have nothing to eat.   Seemandhra people will have no food to eat and no water to drink.  Seemandhra people will die of hunger and thirst.

Also, when New Delhi intervenes to make Telangana release the water, Telangana will have its own army to defend itself against the Indian Army.  Telangana will negate all the decisions of all tribunals to become the first state in the world that will be unwilling to share waters with any other region.  The water sharing mechanism which is followed worldwide so methodically, even by the nineteen countries that share River Danube, will suddenly fail only when it comes to Telangana.

Seemandhras will become illiterate

Suddenly all the colleges, universities and schools in Seemandhra will be shut down permanently, most probably because they don’t know how to teach prakruti and vikruti anymore, after the loss of Telangana as an internal colony.  The students of Seemandhra will have no future.  They will come onto to streets to become beggars while the parents will cry on TV debates organized by Seemandhra media.

Seemandhras will not be allowed into Hyderabad

Telangana will become another country.  Not just any country, it will become a hostile country.  It will become Palestine. No, No. It will become Pakistan.  Or is it Palestine?  Whatever!  But no Seemandhra person can go into Hyderabad unless he has a visa.  There will be border check posts along Seemandhra-Telangana border using Telangana Army.   Passports will be checked.   Seemandhras will carry separate passports in addition to Indian passports.  Seemandhras will have to apply for a visa with Telangana embassies situated in prominent cities like Vizag and Tirupathi.  Please note that this restriction is only limited to Seemandhras.  All other Indians will continue to throng Hyderabad without restrictions.

Seemandhras will lose all their investments in Hyderabad

Suddenly, overnight, all Seemandhras living in Hyderabad will lose their legal rights to their homes and businesses.  They will lose their apartment complexes, their malls, and their hospitals to the government of Telangana.  The Seemandhras will be thrown onto streets without recourse to law of the land.  In an instant, all constitutional rights and protections offered by Indian Constitution will become invalid in Hyderabad.  Please note, once again, that only Seemandhras will lose their entitlements, whereas all other Indians will continue to enjoy their constitutional rights in Hyderabad.  Also, note that those Seemandhras living in Telangana outside Hyderabad will not be affected.

Seemandhras will lose all sources of revenue

Overnight all revenues will stop flowing into Seemandhra.  Creation of Telangana will have an amazing effect on all Seemandhra cities.  Tirupathi, Vizag, Vijayawada, Kakinada, Guntur, Anantapur, Ongole, Kakinada, Rajamundry will suddenly stop earning any revenues.  Seemandhra people will stop paying taxes.  Out of grief, in seeing their united Andhra Pradesh break up, Seemandhras will stop buying goods.  Even the inveterate alcoholics will suddenly become teetotalers and stop spending money on liquor.

Every Telangana person will become a naxalite or terrorist

Creation of Telangana will automatically convert every Telangana person into a naxalite or terrorist.  Now that Telangana people got their own state after sixty years of struggle, they will lose complete faith in Indian political system, and take up arms to fight the very political system which granted them their state.  This may sound counter-intuitive, but that’s what is going to happen according to Samaikyandhra activists.  Telangana will be a haven for the communists and the religious fundamentalists at the same time, making it the first state with two competing ideologies taking root. 

Formation of Telangana is unnatural and anti-constitutional

Formation of Telangana will create earthquakes and tsunamis in Seemandhra.  It will create famines, epidemics of plague, and open up new volcanoes in and around Seemandhra.  Comets will strike their lands and animal species will go extinct.  Formation of Telangana is an aberration of all natural laws.  Even the gods do not favor Telangana.  Creation of Telangana is unconstitutional, illegal, illegitimate, undemocratic, fascist and the worst decision ever made in entire human history.

There are many more fears that could not be listed here.  Because of these ‘genuine’ fears, Telangana should not be formed. 


  1. “Seemandhra would instantly dry up to become a desert”

    All rainwater runoff will flow back against gravity and end up in Telangana reservoirs. Rivers like Pennar not flowing through Telangana will take an aerial route creating the world’s first (and only) elevated water channels. All lakes & tanks will sink into the ground and reach Telangana through an underground stream.

    “Every Telangana person will become a naxalite or terrorist”

    This is an oversimplification. Every Telangana person will become an Islamic terrorist from 6 AM-12 noon, a Hindu fundamentalist from 12-6 PM & a feudal dora 6 PM-midnight and a Naxalite midnight-6 AM. These shifts will rotate every week to enable the Telangana people to exhibit the worst possible behavior in all four avatars.

  2. Nice Jai. You captured it much better than I did.

  3. Sujai and Jai.

    This is hilarious. Good one.

  4. 'Telugu movies would be banned in Telangana'

    Telugu movies produced by Seemandhra producers would be banned in Telangana. Telugu film industry would go into doldrums and reach a state where, due to lack of telugu movies to watch, seemandhra people, with whatever little money they would have, would watch assamese and bhojpuri movies. Hyderabad Film industry would be deluged by all the telangana people. Suddenly, movies would have heroes speaking in Telangana dialect and jokers, villians speaking in Andhra accent. Worst of all, the Andhra people would always be confined to the roles of rapists, suicide bombers and perverted integrationists hell bent on re-uniting all the 29 states to a single state by the name visAlAndhEra. They would have then have to go to United Nations and stage weird acts of body-lashing, face-masking and poem-singing to impress the powers that be to abolish all states in India and form one single state called ViSAladhera.

  5. In distance future ..

    To stop the continuation of world destruction...

    After decades of research and hard work Lagadapaati finally builds a time machine, gather his old forces(heros) Chiru, Kiran, Hari, Chandra and Mother-Seema aka Sharmila travel back in time to stop Telangana formation. In partial success they successfully escape with Hyderabad by air/space lifting it and move it to Mars on temperory basis.

    Part-2 of the movie will show how they save the world by stopping the Telangana formation forever and move the Hyderabad to centre of Seemandra to avoid further problems. Seemandra will serve as World Head office to defend Earth from aliens using there ultimate super weapon called 'Forced Unity'.

    1. wonderful,this was the same i used to telll my andhra classmates when they say that they want hyderabad-"air lift and place it in andhra."

    2. I also tell to my friends we want separate Telangana no links to Seema and andhra not even touchable.So we lift telangana and place in Bangalakhatam sea.No food graings from andhra,everything we make ourselves in telangana,and we even do not want US dollars, we print our own currency,we need self rule.Even in our telangana no leaders are required because each ruled by himself,because we like self rule.
      We do not want to go to Andhra, wwe live in only telangana, we do not go to US too, because we are very well developed than any other part of the world, we do not want to work under AP leaders and in US companies, we liek to work only in Telangana cmpanies.Once Telangana comes we print our currency and give 3 years bonus to all participants, because it is easy as we are printing currency.All telangana people have jobs no beggars,no crimes,100% jobs.Once every one turns he will get a job..

    3. Above Anonymous,

      I guess you forgot that, Telangana people has no problem with rest of the world...except Seemandra. Since they are near the Bay of Bengal, it is easy to kick them into sea to solve all the problems for every. Thansk for your idea.

  6. Such a sad prognosis for Seemandhra! But at least lets see the positive side of creation of Telangana.

    From the aforementioned super reservoirs, canals would criss cross the landscape of Telangana irrigating vast areas. Telangana will become the food bowl of the world. All of T will become green and shining so bright that one could easily spot from space.

    Telangana language will depart in a big way from Telugu, soon acquire its own distinct identity, develop their own script, will become the newest addition to Indian languages, and will find its way on Rupee notes.

    Hyderabad will at last be freed of oppressive occupiers and wily capitalists. The polluting industries will be driven off, the pristine landscape and the rocks will be restored. Grape cultivation comes back and the whole landscape will look like mythical Eden.

    Seemandhra people vacate Telangana and move into the desert. People from Telangana will come in hordes to Hyderabad to claim the empty properties and turn them into vacation homes. Hyderabad will turn into this dream vacation spot attracting global tourism.

    1. >>one could easily spot from space.
      >>whole landscape will look like mythical Eden.
      >>Hyderabad will turn into this dream vacation spot attracting global tourism.

      That's what we are hoping for in the end, way to go.

  7. Jokes aside, when SeemaAndhra's say they loose jobs, water if Telangana is formed vindicates what telanganites have been saying all along. How can they shamelessly admit that they loose their loot in Telangana and continue to protest for some fake United Andhra Pradesh?

  8. See the arrogance of Telanganas. We don't have any objection is division, but we need our share in Hyderabad as every brick in Hyderabad has the sweat and intelligence of seemandhra. If you don't accept for this, you are cheating yourself. You know what is Hyderabad before 1956 and after. Lets sell off all the properties constructed including the Govt buildings and share the money. Once we get our fruits back, we will never see the face of Telangana. Let it go for hell, we don't care. But only concern is, because of you people, we are losing many good friends in Telangana. Surprise that earth is full of selfish people, but Telangana has this at peek.

    1. Satish,

      We don't know that you guys are asking for share in Hyd, all we can hear thru the TV channels and news papers that your people are agitating for a United Andhra pradesh (which includes Telangana lands too). I don't know what stopping your people to openly agitate for share in Hyderabad? I guess you people know that in anyway Hyd is not belongs to your people, so that is why not even single group I saw agitating for share in HYD.

      By the way, you need to read the history first before you start asking for share in HYD. As per the agreements between Seemandra and Telangana the income generated in Telangana area(which includes HYD) must be spent in Telangana only, same applies to Seemandra. If you guys spent your sweat or what ever in Hyderabad, that is against the law and we are not responsible for that.

      Seriously guys I never thought you don't have courage to agitate to ask a share in Hyderabad.

  9. There will never be a Telangana with Hyderabad as capital. So end of discussion.

  10. Let me give you a tip from the inside :)

    There are three options.

    1. Common capital with UT status to Hyderabad.

    2. SAR to Hyderabad (like Pondicherry or Delhi) with 34 constituencies and common capital to both SA and T.

    3. A complete full state to Hyderabad with 34 constituencies and common capital to both SA and T.

    Of course there is always a possibility that Andhra Pradesh as-it-is will continue.

    So Sujai saab reread your silly post above and have a laugh again.

    BTW - 34 constituencies = fourth option of SKC.

    1. ->There will never be a Telangana with Hyderabad as capital. So end of discussion.

      అలా ఆలోచిస్తూనే ఇన్ని రోజులు మాకు సహకరించారు, ఇంకొన్ని రోజులు మీరు అలానే ఆలోచిస్తూ ఉంటె మాకు మేలు చేసిన వారు అవుతారు, :)

  11. OMG green star always make me laugh. What is there in telangana land and who wants it? Yeah we really want telangana land because it has Fluoride? LOL

    1. Good morning. It seems you just woke up after around 15 years of sleep. Welcome to reality.

    2. Mr Greenstar,
      Telangan will never come till KCR is in AP.
      Read this blog.

    3. Thank you. Be happy. Celebrate that we will not get Telangana. ;-)

      Narsimha Rao: You need to understand regional politics to understand this. The reason Congress did not show up at event is because they are not part of TJAC as yet.

    4. >>Telangan will never come ........

      It's like fill in the blank, people love to fill it up with anything.. for exampel

      Telangan will never come because it disintegrate India
      Telangan will never come because of Naxal issues
      Telangan will never come till Telangana people leave HYD
      Telangan will never come till KCR is in AP

      ...what ever the people say the process is moving forward... but some people still refused to see the reality. I can't help them.


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